Life Changes
by Serendipity73
Summary: Life changes in many ways
1. Default Chapter

Title: Life Changes from time to time Author: Serendipity Pairing: Sam/Pete, Sam/Jack, Daniel/Janet Summary: Things are changing Authors Notes: This is unbetaed, all mistakes are mine. I don't own any of the characters or stargate….

To say things have changed quickly, would be an understatement. I had no idea that once things fell into place, and I got my head on straight things would finally be going my way. For so long I have done what was expected of me, my duty…I want something for me. And I have it, and I am happy. I can not believe it.

So I guess I am a bit awe struck.

Pete, came into my life like a hurricane. I wasn't sure in the beginning, but now, I couldn't be more sure. I am happy, he gives me something to look forward to every day. And no not just the Stargate and where we might go. I want more then that, I need more then that.

He asked me to marry him, and there was not any other answer then YES!

It was one of the happiest days of my life. He took me to the park, we had a picnic together as the sun was setting, it was so romantic.

We decided that we were going to move in together a few days ago. I know its going to be a change for me, but I think I am going to be okay. I mean I haven't lived with anyone in so many years, I know there are going to be some difficulties, but I am looking forward to them.

The arguments, the making up… and well the other things that come along with making up, if you catch my drift.

I spoke with the General the other day, showed him my ring, he seemed happy for me.

I don't really know what else I can say about him, for a while I was waiting, wanting more from him. But then one day it was like a light being switched off… and then it felt like it was all over. I was upset for a while, felt so alone, like I was never going to find happiness. I would go home at night and cry myself to sleep most nights. Sad huh?

Now, I feel a sense of loss, we don't speak as much as we used too. I miss that, I miss him too. I think he feels that he can no longer talk to me, spend time with me.

I know kind of what he feels like, I feel the same way. Like I can't approach him anymore, that he is way out of my league. In a way he is, I mean he is still my commanding officer, he is the CO of the base.

Talk about unapproachable, I mean why would be want to talk to me about the little stuff that's going on in my life?

That thought in itself makes my eyes water.

We used to have time for each other, we used to want to spend time with each other.

It all seems to long ago.

Pete and I, we are happy together, not that it's the same relationship I had with the General, but I think we are happy.

He keeps telling me that we need to set a date for the wedding, if we are so happy, then why can't we set a date?

I am happy though, I am really happy.

I know that doesn't make any sense but its true.

I have always wanted to get married, to have a family of my own. Children…I can not wait to have children.

Pete and I haven't really spoken about kids, but he knows I want them and well we really haven't been taking all that many precautions.

We have been looking for here as well. I am hesitant about putting mine up for sale, since it was after all my parents' house, but we are looking.

Pete put in for a position here in Colorado Springs police department. I don't think he will have a hard time getting a job much of anywhere.

Janet is coming over tonight, girls night in, its gotten really to cold that I really do not feel like going out anywhere tonight.

I have a feeling we are going to be doing a lot of talking about our 'men' if you may. She and Daniel have been getting closer by the week now. I hardly see her or Daniel anymore, we have gone on a few double dates together to the movies and such. Although I think Daniel is having a hard time getting used to Pete, he is getting better.

I am really happy for Janet, she seems truly happy.

Oh and there is a knock at the door now. "Hi Janet."

"Sam, I come bearing gifts and news."

"Ice cream and movies! Come on in Janet, let me get the wine." I say as I move towards the kitchen.  
"Sam, you might want to leave the wine."

I stop dead in my tracks.

ooOOOOoo 


	2. Life Changes part 2

"What, why Janet" Like I don't have an inkling of what she is talking about.

We settle in on the couch, so look at each other, okay so I could never 'play dumb' very well.

And Janet can tell too... I am just waiting for her to call me on it.

"Sam, I think you know why."

I look down at my hands, yes I do know why.

I hope Pet feels like this is a good thing too.

"Sam, your test came back positive today, you're pregnant."

"I know Janet."

"So, are you excited?" She looked at me, I guess the shock is wearing off, "I mean you and Pete talked about this right?"

"No we haven't, but this is a natural thing, the next step."

"I am sure he is going to be thrilled Sam."

"I can't believe I am going to have a baby Janet."

Okay so the tears are welling up in my eyes, I am happy, I can't believe this is happening to me.

Finally.

"I'll have to mention this Monday at work, put it in your record. Most likely it will put SG-1 on downtime for a while, maybe through the whole pregnancy."

"The general..."

"He has to know Sam."

"I know, it's just that things are so strained, we barely talk...."

"I know, I heard."

"You heard?"

What did he actually talk to Janet? He talked to her and not me... why is this so hard?

"Yeah, he...um...came down to get some aspirin the other day, and asked he could have a word with me."

"And?"

"Sam, I can't tell you, I promised him..."

Yeah I kind of figured that.

"Daniel actually spoke to him too, which I thought was different, the General, he is usually much more silent, and keeps to himself more...I don't know..."

Okay so this is maybe bothering him more. I hope he doesn't do anything rash.

Rash?

Like anything over the past few months has been anything but rash for me.

But I am happy.

Change of subject time.

"So got any good details about you and Daniel?"

She looks at me surprised, like I would even ask that type of question...

Well not that surprised.

"Oh come on Janet, I mean I am practically a married woman, I have to live vicariously through you."

She reaches for her wine, the lucky dog, but I think I am even luckier at this point, and start to tell me of her night a few days ago before we went off world.

"So we started at this one restaurant, over looking the most beautiful lake I have ever scene, we had a window seat, candles, Sam it had to been one of the most romantic nights I have ever had."

Okay I have to get the name of the restaurant that he took her too, it sounds wonderful!

They ended up back at his apartment after a night of dinner and dancing.

Janet went into all sorts of details after a few glasses of wine, and even though I did expect it from Daniel, I just didn't 'see' it from him. Most likely because I never thought of him in 'that' way. But he is go gentle, so caring, he looks out and protects Janet, and for that I cannot fault him. It just makes me love him even more, in a brotherly way of course.

I am happy for them, just like I am happy about my little bit of news.

Maybe they will have their own little piece of news if it keeps going like it is, and Pete and I won't be the only ones.

Oh I have to tell Pete.

I hope he will be as excited as I am.

Janet asked to go out baby shopping with me on my next down time. I should be getting a lot more of that now, well Monday anyway.

I hope the General reacts in a good way.

It's almost like I have forgotten how to talk to him.

How life changes. 


	3. Life Changes Part 3

Well its Monday morning, Pete still doesn't know, he had to go on an emergency case back in Denver, and wasn't home all weekend like we planned on.

Like my schedule is any more stable.

Well it will be.

I just save Janet, she told me that she already had her weekly meeting with the General, so he already knows, but I think it would be better hearing it from me. We used to be friends right?

With an unsteady hand, I reach up to knock on his door. After a swift 'enter' I do so.

Why is this so hard?

"Colonel, I hear that good wishes are in order." He says flatly.

Okay then if this is how we are going to play…that's fine.

"Yes Sir, I thought it would be good that you heard the good news from me, but I can see Doctor Fraiser has already beaten me to it."

"That's….great news Colonel." He looks at me for a moment, the first time since I entered the office actually. "I will have to make the arrangements for SG-1 to go on downtime, and Doctor Jackson and Teal'c to be reassigned to different teams pending the pregnancy."

"Yes Sir."

Like I expected something else from him.

He is so cold.

"Am I going to be reassigned to the labs Sir?"

"Yes Colonel that is correct. Doctor Fraiser has made it clear that you are not allowed through the gate in this condition….due to what happened previously."

I am fully aware of what happened previously.

The General and I have not discussed that since it happened all those years ago. It was like it was 2 different people. In actuality it was but it wasn't. Does that make sense?

When we were beneath the surface our minds were not our own, but in a strange way they were.

So now I am grounded.

The General proceeds to tell me that he will notify my father and have him come visit when he can.

I am not allowed off world anymore.

For nine long months.

Life is changing.

And I still have to tell Pete.

"Thank you Sir." And I turn to leave. But not before hearing his voice behind me.

"I wish you all the happiness Colonel." His tone is flat and dry. I think he means it on some level…but…

I am happy though.

But I still have to tell Pete.

I nod and leave, feeling absolutely terrible for some reason.

Must go find Janet.

I make my way down to the infirmary, but find Daniel and Teal'c instead.

"Hey guys!"

"Sam, we heard about the news…Congratulations!" Daniel said as he enveloped me in a hug.

"Thanks Daniel: I smile at him, I must talk to him later on.

"Congratulations ColonelCarter, I am most happy for you."

"Thanks Teal'c"

"So what are you guys doing down here?" I ask trying to look around them for Janet.

"We are looking for Doctor Fraiser." Came the reply from Teal'c.

"She's not in there?" I point towards the infirmary.

"No, we were supposed to meet for coffee." Daniel said absentmindedly as he waved his hands in the air.

"You mean, you were supposed to meet DoctorFraiser for coffee."

"Um, yes Teal'c that…that would be it…yes..thanks."

"Daniel, you need to relax. It's okay honestly."

"I know, it's just…"

"I know Daniel, come one let's see if we can find her."

The three made their way around the base and finally found Janet in the commissary with a cup of coffee.

"I thought we were meeting here…." Janet begins but stops with one look on Daniel's face. "Sorry, honestly, I thought we were meeting here."

"It's ok…" Daniel replied and sat down next to her.

This is just like old times, except one person is missing.

"So have you told Pete the good news yet?" Daniel asked me.

"No, he is still on a case, I tried to call his cell, but didn't get an answer."

"Ah."

"I am sure he will call when he can Sam."

"I know, I just worry that's all."

We all do, I know this.

We sat there for about another half an hour just talking about different things that were happening. They all asked about the wedding, I have no idea what the date will be now since there is a baby on the way.

I have to talk with Pete.

As if on queue there is a whole bunch of commotion behind us in the hallways, people were all running towards the gateroom in some sort of panic.

Okay so this got all of our curiosity and we all took off after a SG-5.

What peeked my thoughts was that I actually saw the General all suited up and ready to walk through the gate.

Now what I going on?

"Sir?" I asked as I came through the door.

"Sorry Carter, emergency on the Alpha site, gotta run."

"But Sir…"

"No buts Carter, Teal'c suit up Daniel do the same."

They both went off without another word and left us standing there.

"Sir, what about me?"

He paused and looked at me mid stride, "You are now assigned to the labs Carter, and pregnant. Orders are orders. You stay here, that's your place now."

That was harsh.

I look down at my feet, suddenly finding them very interesting in the midst of all the action that is going on around me.

Just then Teal'c and Daniel came back in and stood behind him. I know they are trying to stay out of this conservation but…thy also know that it's time to go.

"Jack…"

"Yup, time to go. Hold down the fort Carter." And then he turned on his heel and left.

Things are so much more complicated right now.

And I still have no spoken to Pete.

This is supposed to be the happiest time of your life right… how come I have people mad at me, and I can't find my fiancé? 


	4. Life Changes Part 4

Janet and I went back to my lab. I know I haven't been very talkative since they left. To be honest Janet hasn't been either.

I know she is worried about Daniel, they couldn't really say anything in form of a 'goodbye' so I know she is worried.

I can see it in her eyes.

"Janet…do you…umm think the General…that he was a little harsh with me…"

"I don't know Sam, he has seemed a little off since…well since Pete."

"Yeah I know, it's not like I haven't noticed Janet." "This isn't your fault you know."

"I know."

"I am happy now Janet, maybe I wasn't in the beginning, it's hard for me to trust people, but now, I am engaged and have a child on the way. Something I never thought would happen for me."

"I know sweetie, and this thing, that's between you and the General, it's been there since I began to work here." She pauses and looks at me, "He still cares…about you I mean…"

I look down at my counter; yeah I know what she means.

"Things never turn out like we want them to Janet."

"I know, but it doesn't stop them from hurting Sam."

"I know."

"Are you truly happy Sam?"

"Now that's an odd question Janet, I mean you have seen Pete and I together." "Yes I have, and so has Daniel…"

"What did he say to you Janet?"

"Who Daniel or the General?"

"Janet??"

"I can't tell you Sam."

She sighs and stands up, "Listen, I have to get back to work, but we should meet for dinner tonight, girls night in and all of that."

"Yeah, maybe, give me a call before you leave."

"Don't work to hard Sam, it's not good for the baby."

Yeah sure.

Later that evening Janet came by and dragged me out of the mountain for dinner and rest.

I was greatful that she did, I was sick with worry about Pete, I had not heard from him yet. My next phone call on that matter was going to be to his department head. I was also worried about the General, Daniel, Teal'c and the other SG teams out there, they had radioed back and asked for more troops. Not a good sign.

And all I could do was sit there and watch everyone else go to watch my teams' backs.

It wasn't a job I wanted anyone else but me doing.

But I couldn't now could I?

Cassie is so happy about the news of my pregnancy; she made me sit on the couch while she and her mom cooked dinner for us.

Then she kept coming in to make sure I didn't need anything, I swear is going to make as good a doctor as her mother is.

Finally, Janet handed me the phone to call Pete. I have to admit I am beginning to worry, I mean why he hasn't called me. I hope everything went okay with this case he is working on.

I do understand how the 'job' works, look at my job, I work all the time, and odd hours for that, and to top it off, I can't tell anyone about what I do for a living.

But I would still call to say "I am okay, don't worry".

"Here, call him." Janet says as she pushes the phone into my hands.

"Thanks" I reply as I finger the buttons on the handset.

Why am I so nervous?

Slowly I dial the number I know so well and I receive a answering machine so I leave another message telling Pete to please call as soon as he can, I had some very important information for him.

As I reach over for my purse, Janet looks at me with sad eyes; I think she thinks something is seriously wrong.

God I hope not.

As I dial the number to his desk at work, my stomach is in knots.

One ring…Two rings…Three rings… and

Finally!

"Detectives division"

"Hi, my name is Samantha Carter, I am looking for Pete Shanahan."

"Ma'am, I am sorry but he is not here at the moment, I can put you through to his voice mail?"

"Has he been there at all within the last few days?"

"Ma'am, I am not at liberty to…"

"Ma'am, I am his fiancé, please…"

She is honestly now going to tell me, I know she isn't. If it were me I wouldn't be able to her either.

"All I can tell you is that he has been out in the field."

"Thank you Ma'am."

"Have a good evening."

I hung up the phone even more depressed then I was before the call.

Janet picked up and so did Cassie on this, and they both sat down on either side of me and wrapped me in a hug.

"Janet, I don't want to go home, can I stay?"

"Of course you can, I will set up the guest room for you."

"Thanks Janet."

Cassie went off to bed a little while later and soon I followed, I didn't know what else to do.

Janet came in to check on me before she headed off to bed herself. We both had to be on base early in the morning anyway.

She sat on the edge of the bed and asked me if I was okay.

"How have you been dealing with Daniel leaving Janet? I mean I know you are used to us going and coming back more times injured then not…how do you do that now that you and Daniel are… well…"

"I don't know Sam, I can tell you its a lot harder now then it was before." She shifts her position on the bed to sit cross legged, "I mean take today, usually we have a plan on when he is going off world, today we didn't, I didn't even get a chance to say goodbye."

I just look at her, not knowing what to say mainly because I have never been in that type of situation before.

"Do you know how bad I wanted to walk up to him and throw my arms around him and say goodbye, good luck, stay safe? But I couldn't, and now here I sit with you and we are both in pretty bad shape huh?"

"Yeah I guess we are."

"So how are you dealing with this?"

"About the same yeah…I just wish I knew if he was okay. It was almost like they were hiding something when I called there today. Like something had happened to Pete, or the case, and they just couldn't tell me."

"I hate that feeling."

"Yeah, I know."

"Do you think Daniel will be okay?"

"Janet he is in the best hands there could be. The General and Teal'c would never let anything happen to him."

"Why do you keep doing that?"

I look at her like she has four heads.

"Doing what?"

"Call him 'The General' all the time."

"Umm…protocol"

"Sam, you have known him how many years?"

A lot… I know this Janet.

"I mean I can see when on base, but you do that everywhere. I know it gets annoying for me to hear it all the time…I can't imagine…."

Okay why is she bringing this up now?

I am trying not to show any emotion on this, I mean I am engaged and have a child on the way with someone I love.

"Janet, look things just didn't work out between us that way. Then I met Pete, you know this…"

"I know I know…"

"Janet do you know something?"

"Me, no… we are just talking, that's all."

"I know…I am just so worried right now."

"Yes you are, and that's why you need to get some rest, come on into bed you go."

I didn't sleep to good that night, and was very restless to get up and just go to the base early the next morning.

About midway through the morning is when I got word from Janet as she came running into my office that Daniel had come through the gate, injured and the Alpha Site needing more reinforcements. 


	5. Life Changes Part 5

Authors note: Just keep reading guys, I like Pete, adds a good twist to things :) I don't want to see him dead. I wouldn't of labeled it the way I did for nothing.

Janet took off at a steady run when it was announced for a medical team to the gateroom. I couldn't keep up with her.

When I got there I saw Daniel leaning on her for support as Teal'c had his other side trying to make their way to the bottom of the ramp where a stretcher was to take him to the infirmary.

God what happened?

I make my way through the crowd, many of the other teams have come back through and most are being worked on by the medical personal here.

Not a good sign.

Janet is rushing Daniel out of the room and down the hall.

It's all I can do to keep up.

The nurses ushered Teal'c and I out of the room so they would do what they had to. Why can't we be in there?

What is going on?

"Teal'c where is the General?"

"He was captured ColonelCarter."

"WHAT?"

"There were many jaffa there, we infiltrated the ship, he was captured after he ordered us out of the ship."

"And you left him there?"

"We did not have a choice, after we escaped the ship left orbit."

"Who, who was it Teal'c"

"I must inform you, it was Ba'al."

"Damn it."

"Preparations are being made for contact with the Tok'ra and the Asgard as we speak."

Why why why why why

"What happened to Daniel?"

"He was covering for GeneralO'Neill, there were so many Jaffa, we could not anticipate where they were all coming from."

I looked sadly through the tiny window, trying to get a view of what they were doing in there.

"He took a staff blast to the chest, but I think the new vest got the blunt of it. Don't worry ColonelCarter, DanielJackson will be fine."

"I should have been there Teal'c."

"You could have been there ColonelCarter, in your condition gate travel is forbidden. I will not allow you to endanger the life of your child."

Okay Teal'c. I mean what else can I say at this point.

I am watching Janet through the window. She is working harder right now then I have ever seen her work before.

Her hands are trembling as she works on Daniel. I can tell that she is fighting for his life in every movement, every touch.

If something falters, her resolve will as well.

I can fell for her, I know what she is going through.

I am not sure how long Teal'c and I waited there. Airmen brought me a chair a while ago I just couldn't stand anymore.

Teal'c supported me the entire time, letting me rest on his shoulder, giving me strength I needed.

Must have closed my eyes for to long because he was waking me up when a nurse came out and told us that Daniel was stable, and that we should go get some rest.

I asked if Janet was still in there with him, only to be advised that she was ordered to her quarters for some rest.

Now I know I would have problems following those orders, so either she was just tired, or she….

I have to find her.

And I did just a few moments later in Daniel's office. She was sitting in his desk chair with her back to the door and the lights off.

"Janet?"

She didn't answer me, I knew she wouldn't.

I moved over to sit next to her. She was crying and had a bunch of tissues wadded up in her hands, which were shaking I might add.

She was not in good shape at all.

"Janet…

Still nothing.

"Janet come on listen to me, look at me."

"Daniel is going to be okay Janet, you played a part in that, I saw you in there, I have never seen you work harder Janet."

Still nothing.

I reach over and grab her hands, "He's going to be okay Janet, he's very much alive in the infirmary."

She looks up at me with sad eyes.

I wish there was something I could do to help, then what I am doing now.

"I almost lost him Sam."

"But he's alive."

"I just found him Sam, just found what could be the most wonderful thing in my life. And I almost lost it forever."

I know what she means, I know how she feels. I have been in this situation more then I wanted to ever be.

"I know Janet. I can see it every time you two look at each other, they way he gently touches the small of your back, they way he dances with you."

"God look at me, I just about lost it in there Sam."

"You did what you had to Janet."

We talked for a while before she wanted to see Daniel then go to her quarters.

I followed her to the infirmary, hey I am a friend right. I wanted to make sure she made it there okay.

I let her have some privacy with him and hung back. I can see Daniel another time.

She slowly walked over to him, she's crying again. As she sat down, she reached for his hand and wrapped her fingers around his and leaned her hand down to rest on his arm.

I can't watch anymore, and head to my quarters.

I wish I knew where Pete was.

I wish I could go and get the General.

Life sucks some days. 


	6. Life Changes Part 6

"I am so sorry Daniel." Janet sniffled and ran a hand across his cheek, "Please wake up."

After the surgery he had slipped into a medicated sleep. It was just a waiting game now.

"I wish I could take the pain away, I know I should have been there for you, protected you more…"

Janet was crying again, all the stress of finding him coming through the gate and then collapsing in her arms, the surgery, it was all getting to be to much after two days of no sleep.

"God why is this happening, you have to wakeup for me Daniel." She said resting her hands on top of his and laying her head down next to his side.

"I don't know what I would do if you weren't here." She whispered and closed her eyes for what she thought would be a brief moment.

I watched Janet from the doorway, unsure if I should interrupt, I just came by to see Daniel, to see if he had woken up yet.

I can see by the slow rise and fall from Janet; she has fallen into a stress induced sleep.

She needs to sleep it has been a few days since everything when haywire around here.

I just want to see if he is okay, as I rest my hand on the door handle to open it, I see movement from him, he wrapped his fingers around hers and was running his other hand very so softly through her hair, all while whispering something I couldn't hear to her.

God this scene seemed awfully familiar to me.

And it's not my place to interrupt them.

inside

"I am here Janet." He whispered, "None of this is your fault."

His voice was raspy from the lack of water, but it didn't matter. "Janet, come on wake up for me…please."

He weaved his fingers through her hair to get her attention, and when she lifted her head to look at his face, she started to cry all over again.

"Daniel, oh my god, thank god…" the words came spilling out, and she was rambling, but didn't care.  
"I didn't know what I would have done…"

"Shh, you saved my life…again."

"I was just doing my…" She was crying once again.

"Come here…" He whispered and pulled her to the best of his ability towards him and kissed her gently before looking at her.

"I love you."

"I love you too." She replied and reached for his hands before sitting back down the chair for a moment.

In Sam's Quarters

I am happy for my friends, I really am. I think it's about time really.

Its getting late, I just tried Pete's office again, nothing. It must be a big case. I also checked in with the rescue operation for General O'Neill with Teal'c.

It's moving along fine, they will be ready to move out in a few hours.

And I still can't go.

My father came through a little while ago, he has a ship that he said we could use so I am happy about that.

I haven't told him about the baby or Pete yet, he said he would be down in a little bit after he puts the finishing touches on the plan with Teal'c.

A few moments later there is a knock at my door, and my father walks in.

"Hey Sammy."

"Hey Dad." He gave me a hug and we sat down.

"Teal'c said that I should come and check on you, that you have a few things to tell me."

How do you tell your father that you are pregnant and that your fiancé is on a case and you haven't eve told him yet.

I know doesn't sound that complicated, and it may not be, but where do you start?

He must sense my hesitation, because he starts for me.

"Does this have anything to do with the fact that you aren't going on the rescue mission?"

"Yes, I am pregnant Dad."

He sat there in silence for a few moments, not knowing exactly what to say. I think he went to shock.

I did about the same thing when I found out too.

"Does Pete know?"

"No," I look down at my hands, "He has been on some case since the weekend, and I haven't been able to reach him."

"That's a long time Sam, have you called his office?"

"That's what I said too, I am getting really nervous that something has happened, and no one is telling me."

"Did Doctor Fraiser tell you that you couldn't go through the gate, because the Tok'ra have had much success with gate travel in pregnant women."

"Yeah she did…"

"How would she know unless….." He paused and looked at me, yeah dad that would be it.

"When?"

"When we had our memory stamped a few years ago."

"So it was…"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell anyone Dad."

"Not even…"

"Obviously he and Janet were the only ones who knew."

"Oh."

"Janet wasn't the only one who ordered me to the base Dad. The General, we had a 'disagreement' and he took me off SG-1 and sent me to the labs."

"He was just looking out for you Sam."

"He was cold and callus to me."

"Can you blame the man Sam?"

No I guess I can't.

I yawned, and looked over at my dad.

"Listen Sammy, you get some rest, I will come back later okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Dad."

He gave me a kiss on the forehead and left me "to my own thoughts.

Sleep I need to sleep.

Not sure how long I was asleep but I woke to the telephone ringing.

"Hello?"

"Colonel Samantha Carter?

"Yes?"

"This is the Denver Police Department…." 


	7. Life Changes Part 7

If I didn't already feel bad, then I would have probably already thrown up.

When people say life changes, things happen for a reason… they can go to hell.

This sucks.

Why is it always me that this happens too? Can I ask that question because I really want to know.

Why does everyone I care about always die?

This is really getting old!

I need to go find Janet, but I don't want to go outside this room looking like this.

God my stomach is killing me.

I have to know what's going on with the rescue mission, but that can wait.

A few minutes later Janet knocks on my door. All she has to do is look at me to know something is seriously wrong.

"Sam…Sam what happened? Are you okay?"

"I just…just got a phone call from….the…Denver Police…"

"Sam, it's okay, take a deep breath and tell me…I am right here for you." She said as she sat down next to me on my bed.

"Pete….he got shot yesterday…." I took her hands in mine, "He…he died last night in surgery."

"Oh Sam, I am so sorry." Janet pulls me into a hug and we sit there for a few minutes just crying.

"They said there was nothing they could have done."

"I am sure they tried everything they could of for him Sam."

"Yeah."

Ow!

"Sam?" Janet looks at me strangely.

"My stomach really hurts Janet."

"Show me where Sam."

So I did, and then she took me to the infirmary. Great! Just what I need to be somewhere public, when all I want to do is sit in a corner and cry.

By the time I made it to the infirmary I was wishing for one of those wheel chairs, I barely could walk.

Which just made me cry more.

God what did I ever do to deserve this?

When she had me in a bed, curtains drawn, she told me she was going to give me a mild sedative to help me rest, and hook me up to an IV.

I know I haven't been taking care of myself these last few days, but with everything that has been going on? How could anyone?

And now this, the life I wanted so badly, with a man I loved, was ripped away from me.

I don't want to have anything to do with anything right now; all I want to do is wallow in my self pity and not have a care in the world.

I don't even want to talk with anyone.

I want my life back, and that is never going to happen.

And to top it off I have a life inside me, that is already…I don't know, I want to say changing me, hindering me, complicating things…

Maybe if I wasn't pregnant, Pete wouldn't have been killed and the General wouldn't have been captured…

But that is cold, the baby didn't do anything to cause these problems, it's just here.

And I don't want to think that because there is no doubt in my mind that I would keep her and love her.

God what is wrong with me?

I am starting to feel really sleepy right now, Janet just came over to see how I was doing, and that she called in a specialist from the Academy to visit me in the morning.

She must be concerned.

Daniel is just a few beds down from me, the curtains are drawn so I can see him, but every now and then I hear them talking quietly.

I really need sleep.

Maybe when I wake up things will be all better?

I can't believe I slept through clear till morning, I have never slept that good unless I was injured, what did Janet give me last night?

I can hear people talking around me, but I am not awake enough to focus on them. I think one is my dad.

"Dad" I call out.

"Morning Sammy, I am here."

"What's going on?" My voice is raspy from sleep.

"The doctor from the Academy is here to see you, they are going to run a few tests and see what's wrong."

"What do you mean what's wrong?"

"Sam you have been bleeding pretty steady since sometime in the middle of the night."

Oh no, what have I done? 


	8. Life Changes Part 8

These next few parts are going to be dealing with alot of dark parts to what Sam is going through. I do not know a whole lot about depression, but I know about the pregnancy issue, and what it feels like. So please if there is something thats wrong here please email me and I will fix it, I am not a know it all about depression, so please keep that in mind.

And don't worry, all you S/J fans, please keep with me, don't worry its coming

If I didn't already feel bad, then I would have probably already thrown up.

When people say life changes, things happen for a reason… they can go to hell.

This sucks.

Why is it always me that this happens too? Can I ask that question because I really want to know.

Why does everyone I care about always die?

This is really getting old!

I need to go find Janet, but I don't want to go outside this room looking like this.

God my stomach is killing me.

I have to know what's going on with the rescue mission, but that can wait.

A few minutes later Janet knocks on my door. All she has to do is look at me to know something is seriously wrong.

"Sam…Sam what happened? Are you okay?"

"I just…just got a phone call from….the…Denver Police…"

"Sam, it's okay, take a deep breath and tell me…I am right here for you." She said as she sat down next to me on my bed.

"Pete….he got shot yesterday…." I took her hands in mine, "He…he died last night in surgery."

"Oh Sam, I am so sorry." Janet pulls me into a hug and we sit there for a few minutes just crying.

"They said there was nothing they could have done."

"I am sure they tried everything they could of for him Sam."

"Yeah."

Ow!

"Sam?" Janet looks at me strangely.

"My stomach really hurts Janet."

"Show me where Sam."

So I did, and then she took me to the infirmary. Great! Just what I need to be somewhere public, when all I want to do is sit in a corner and cry.

By the time I made it to the infirmary I was wishing for one of those wheel chairs, I barely could walk.

Which just made me cry more.

God what did I ever do to deserve this?

When she had me in a bed, curtains drawn, she told me she was going to give me a mild sedative to help me rest, and hook me up to an IV.

I know I haven't been taking care of myself these last few days, but with everything that has been going on? How could anyone?

And now this, the life I wanted so badly, with a man I loved, was ripped away from me.

I don't want to have anything to do with anything right now; all I want to do is wallow in my self pity and not have a care in the world.

I don't even want to talk with anyone.

I want my life back, and that is never going to happen.

And to top it off I have a life inside me, that is already…I don't know, I want to say changing me, hindering me, complicating things…

Maybe if I wasn't pregnant, Pete wouldn't have been killed and the General wouldn't have been captured…

But that is cold, the baby didn't do anything to cause these problems, it's just here.

And I don't want to think that because there is no doubt in my mind that I would keep her and love her.

God what is wrong with me?

I am starting to feel really sleepy right now, Janet just came over to see how I was doing, and that she called in a specialist from the Academy to visit me in the morning.

She must be concerned.

Daniel is just a few beds down from me, the curtains are drawn so I can see him, but every now and then I hear them talking quietly.

I really need sleep.

Maybe when I wake up things will be all better?

I can't believe I slept through clear till morning, I have never slept that good unless I was injured, what did Janet give me last night?

I can hear people talking around me, but I am not awake enough to focus on them. I think one is my dad.

"Dad" I call out.

"Morning Sammy, I am here."

"What's going on?" My voice is raspy from sleep.

"The doctor from the Academy is here to see you, they are going to run a few tests and see what's wrong."

"What do you mean what's wrong?"

"Sam you have been bleeding pretty steady since sometime in the middle of the night."

Oh no, what have I done?

oooOOOOooo

The morning went by pretty quickly, I was shuffled from one test to another, everyone seemed to be talking about me as if I wasn't there.

Walking on eggshells is more like it.

Someone from Pete's department called me and wanted to start the funeral preparations, which was fine, as much as I wanted to do it myself, I can't right now.

I can't even get out of bed by myself.

I think I have gone into a slight bout of depression; I haven't spoken to anyone since I got the news about Pete.

Which mind you is all my fault.

If I hadn't gotten pregnant, than Pete might have come home.

He died and it's my fault.

I lost another person whom I loved in my life.

What is so wrong with me?

Can't I find someone to love, and said person to love me back, and both of us be alive?

God this is all my fault.

I want my fiancé back. I want my life back.

Why won't any of my friends talk to me?

All I want to do is cry all the time.

I hate this waiting, waiting for the results, waiting for the funeral, that I might not even able to attend, waiting waiting and waiting.

Waiting for the next life to end.

The doctor spoke to me a few minutes ago; he said that my stress level is over the top, that I have cysts growing on my ovaries, which is the main reason I have been bleeding constantly.

He told me there is no way they can remove them unless it is a last resort.

And I have to stay off my feet. No moving, no walking, no work, no funeral, no stress, no nothing.

Great!

I can't even work now, the one thing that I can use to escape, I can't even do.

What is the General going to say now?

Oh that's right, he's stuck on some planet, with the one person who killed him over and over just for amusement, and that is also my fault.

I wasn't there to back him up to keep him safe.

I wasn't doing my job.

I let him down too.

I just let him down, let my so called need for some sort of normal life cost him his own life.

And I could cost the innocent life I carry inside me as well.

For what?

God how pathetic and I?

I used to think that I had everything in my life, that life in the military was all I ever needed to get anything I ever wanted.

Was I wrong or what.

So here I sit in the infirmary, no one will talk to me, I can't go anywhere, full bed rest.

And if the bleeding doesn't stop, well the worst part is I will lose the baby.

Janet has left to speak with the Doctor and its just be and Daniel in the infirmary right now. I am lying on my side not looking at him.

Why would he want to talk to me anyway?

"Sam?"

I don't want to talk to him. I don't want to talk to him.

"Sam, I know you are awake…"

Damn.

"Sam, please you need to talk to someone, I am worried about you."

Oh please Daniel how can you be worried about me?

"Don't be worried Daniel."

"I am Sam. You haven't spoken to anyone since this happened, it's a classic case of depression."

"So what Daniel."

"Please…talk to me Sam."

I roll over and look over at Daniel. I am in no mood for this right now.

"What do you want me to say Daniel, I got my fiancé killed, one of best friends is first not talking to me, thinks I hate him and the kicker, I might lose the last real chance at happiness that I could ever have."

"Sam, you know that's to true."

"Yes it is Daniel. And all I have to do is not move, to stay in bed for oh what 9 months or so."

He is quiet, that's what I thought, he didn't know what to say to me.

No one does.

"I mean look at you, you get injured and come home to someone who loves you, hell she can even fix it. Me, I have no one now."

"It's not like that Sam. We are just trying to help you, but we don't know how. It's like you won't let us in."

In a way I know he's partly right, I don't want anyone else to get hurt.

"Daniel…I…I just don't want anyone else to get hurt. That's all anyone ever gets around me."

"No Sam…"

"Yes Daniel, it has to end someplace, sometime. You have something great with Janet, something that could turn into the best thing in your entire life Daniel. I am not going to be the one to take that away from you."

"You have us Sam, we aren't going anywhere."

"No offence Daniel, but I don't want to be the third wheel."

"That would never happen."

"Yes it would Daniel, how would the three of us go out to those romantic restaurants together, you and Janet go to the dance floor and what have me sit there alone at the table?"

"Of course not…"

"Then what is it Daniel because I can't really see anything else."

"Sam please, we all love you here, we would be here for you through think and thin."

I don't answer him, I can't, suddenly this searing pain rips through me and I scream out in pain. 


	9. Life Changes Part 9

"OWWWWWWWWW" God what the hell is that?

"Janet…someone...help!" I hear Daniel calling for someone.

"Sam, Sam can you hear me?" I look up and see Janet and a few nurses around me.

"It hurts, make it stop please!"

"We are going to try Sam, what I need you to do is try to relax."

"Go find Dr. Hanley, NOW!" She yelled to one of her nurses who went off to do what she was told.

"Sam, listen to me, you have to calm down…" She is holding me down as the best she can, "You have to calm down."

"It hurts Janet, make it stop…OHHH GOODDDD!"

"Doctor Fraiser what's going…" Dr. Hanley called as he ran into the infirmary.

"She's…she's…." She looks down at me, sadness in her eyes, "she's losing the baby."

No no no no no no no no!

"She was doing better when I left this morning, what happened?"

"OWWWWWWWWW! God make it stop."

"Look, she hasn't gotten out of this bed all day; she was resting and then talking with Doctor Jackson. That's all she did today."

Daniel sat in his bed with this look like he had caused this. There was nothing he could do.

"I am sorry I didn't mean to cause this…" He replied from the bed.

"It's okay Daniel, but right now we need to stop the bleeding and get Sam stable." With that Janet closed the curtain and went to work.

"We need to give her some morphine, and get her calm."

"God there is so much blood." One of the nurses said from beside her.

"Janet, please…..Janet make it stop…"

A while later Janet came to sit next to Daniel. She rested her head on the bed, he was asleep, but she just needed to be close to him.

"Janet?" He whispered, gently running his hands through her hair and down to her arm.

"Mmmm"

"Janet, wake up. I want to know what happened."

"Daniel? How are you feeling?"

"You know I am fine. How's Sam?"

She intertwined her fingers with his as her eyes started to fill with tears.

"She is stable right now."

"Did she…" He looks down at me, eyes sad.

"Yeah."

"God Daniel, I should of seen this coming, took more preparations, did something to help her."

"You did everything you could Janet."

"There is always something else that could have been done."

"No there wasn't Janet, her body was rejecting the baby long before you had anything to do with it."

"I am a doctor, her doctor, and I let this happen to her."

"You are the most brilliant doctor I have ever had the opportunity to know, you have performed miracles more then once. This, this you had no control over, there was nothing you could do."

"God what is she going to think of me?"

"She won't think of you as anything. I am pretty sure she is going to blame herself, and need you to help her get through everything that happened.

"She is going to need all of us Daniel."

"I know, some more then others I think."

"Did Teal'c and Jacob leave this morning?"

"Yeah, you were asleep."

"Do you think they will find him?"

"Yes I do."

"God Daniel, what are we going to do."

"We go day by day, and do whatever needs to be done. This isn't going to be better in one day."

"I know, I wish I could just take away the pain for her."

"We all do."

"Doctor Hanley said she could go home in the next few days if there wasn't any complications."

"I don't think she should be alone."

"I am going to see if she wants to come to my house with Cassie and I."

"That's a good idea…." He was looking at her like he wanted to say something else, but was afraid too.

"Daniel, what is it?"

"Nothing…"

"No not nothing, what?"

"I was just thinking that then I would be able to see her more as well."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I will be here for you Janet, I am not going to leave your side."

"Thanks."

Sam woke to the soft whispers of Janet and Daniel talking a few beds down. God she felt heavy and tired, like she had been run over by a truck.

"Urgh, god what happened." Sam moaned, gathering the attention of Janet.

"Sam, honey stay still."

"Janet? What happened?"

"You don't remember?" She sat there for a moment as if trying to remember, and then it hit her.

"No, Janet no, please tell me that it's not true, that it's all a bad dream…." 


	10. Life Changes Part 10

Author's Notes: I had a bit of a problem writing this part, I don't know why... SO sorry for the delay, I also broke my finger, so its really hard to type lol. I ran spell check and grammer check.. but we all know how these things work.

It's not a bad dream, this is really happening to me.

My life is so far gone right now, I don't know what to do. I lost my baby, my fiancé is dead, and one of my best friends is still missing, along with my father and Teal'c who went to rescue said friend.

This is all my fault.

I can't believe that everyone is hurt or dying because of me.

I won't let anyone else around me... Janet is pissed to say the least. She keeps trying and trying, so does Daniel... Cassie even tried to get close.

Dr. Hanley says I can go home over the next few days, says I am doing a lot better physically, but he is concerned about my mental state.

I don't know why anyone is concerned.

No one should be, I just need to get out of here and be by myself.

General Hammond came back in light that General O'Neill is missing, and he gave me a few weeks downtime to recover.

I might take some time and just get away from here for a bit.

Pete's funeral is in a few days, I know I am going to that, then I will most likely just leave after that.

Janet and Daniel said they would go with me to the funeral. I told them they didn't have to, but I don't think they are going to listen to me.

No one from Pete's work has been in contact with me expect his boss telling me when the funeral was.

Do they think that little of me, are they taking the burden off of me since I lost the baby? Has Pete told them about me? If so what? I haven't really met anyone from his job before.

They probably don't know anything about me; I mean why would they want to anyway? I got one of their own killed, lost his baby... I am not a very strong person am I?  
I am not even sure if I want to go in my uniform.

I have spoken to Janet about this. She said I should, she will too.

I don't know if I am worthy or not.

General Hammond came to see me today, said that he would recommend talking with Dr. Mackenzie at some point, and that he knew even though I didn't really approve of his ways, I would have to talk to him to get back on to active duty.

Figures.

He thinks I am nuts when I am okay, I can't image what he is going to think now.

A few days later

I got the okay to go to the funeral, as long as someone came with me. Janet and Daniel volunteered.

Like they wouldn't.

I am moving around a little better, although I have some pain still. Not that I would admit it though, I want out of that infirmary so bad it hurts.

I did get to go to Janet's last night, although I spent the night in her guest room.

I think she was a bit upset at that, but I just can't be around people, I don't want to hurt anymore people.

So here I stand in Janet's spare bedroom looking at my self in the mirror. I am dressed in my uniform, although I am not sure why all of a sudden I feel so uncomfortable in it now.

As I run my fingers over the ribbons wondering why I have so many, I was just doing my job, I don't deserve to wear them, there is a knock at my door, I know who it is... and I guess I better answer it before they knock it down.

"Sam...Sam are you ready?"

Yeah...about as ready as I am going to ever be. I look around the room, my bags are packed, I decided to leave when we get back from the funeral. I figure I will slip out sometime after the burial.

"I am coming." I open the door and see Janet in her uniform with Daniel behind her in a nice suit.

Okay its game time.

"Sam it's only been a few days, so if you don't feel well, please you have to tell me." Janet told me from the passenger seat of the car.

"I know, don't worry too much Janet, I will be fine."

"I worry Sam because we are friends, I don't want to see you hurting anymore."

"Janet there is nothing to worry about."

With a nod we leave for the funeral.

Do I really have to do this?

I owe him this much even it is a little to late.

As we pull up at the cemetery, I watch all the Denver P.D. uniforms, and wonder if I should even be here? I didn't know any of these people, and I doubt they knew me.

Janet opens my door as a signal I guess to get out of the car.

I do and slowly make my way to the crowd gathered there. I see there is the team for the gun salute, and many uniforms. I notice his mother and father sitting off to the side, well I think they are, I never met them.

I am okay to stand this far away...far away but still close.

Until his mother looks my way and jesters for me to come over.

"You must be Samantha."

"Yes Ma'am I am."

"I am Peter's mother, I know we have never met, but he talked about you a lot to me."

I just smile, I don't know what to say to her.

All I want to do is run.

"He loved you so much my dear, I want you to know that. He said that there were many secrets due to your work, but that he loved you anyway."

Oh god, I can't cry I can't cry.

"I loved him too."

She patted my arm and I stood up at the sound of the national anthem.

This was going to be a long ceremony, I have to bundle up every ounce of military bearing I have. Janet and Daniel are standing behind me, I can tell doing the same thing...well Janet is anyway.

When they hit the gun salute, I jumped at every single shot.

After the ceremony they wanted to know what I wanted to do, go home or go to the reception afterwards.

I wanted to go, go far far away.

Not that they had to know that.

So back to Janet's we went. I sat in the back seat, as I did before just staring out the window at the passing scenery.

The ride was made in silence.

Once we got back, Janet insisted on showering, and I decided that while she was in the shower and Daniel went for food, I would make my move.

Quickly I changed out of my uniform, hanging it neatly on the closet door, and grabbed my bags.

I was out the door in a matter of minutes; no one knew I had gone.

Daniel had arrived back in less than 30 minutes to find Janet still in the bathroom. He put the food on the counter and got out three place settings for dinner.

Once finished he went to find Janet and Sam.

Walking quietly up to the guest bedroom he knocked only to be received by silence, so he pushed the door open to be met by empty darkness.

"Sam? Sam are you in there?" As he walked in, he realized that she was not there.

"Janet, Sam's gone."

"Oh god!" 


	11. Life Changes Part 11

oooOOOOooo

I am not sure where I am going. But I have to get out of here.

Out of this state.

I know Janet and Daniel and everyone will be worried about me, and I will be in contact, but I can't just right now.

There is this strong need to be alone.

I am doing okay health wise I think. I have been really run down and tired for a while. But I think that's the added stress and miscarriage talking.

I hope it is anyway.

Janet told me to stay off my feet for a while, stay rested, and I should heal just fine. Physically.

I jumped on I25 and just headed north. I don't know where I want to go actually so I am just going to drive for a bit and see where I end up.

I know I can't drive for long…. My stomach is already starting to protest me sitting up for to long.

Its funny how you can live somewhere for so long, and not really see it.

I guess that's like my life, you can live it, but if you don't open your eyes and see, then you really don't live your life at all.

Denver is a real pretty city, really clean.

Oww, god I need to stop soon, I am just past Denver now. This is bringing tears to my eyes, god what is going on?

Man I wish Janet was here.

I wish I told her where I was going.

I can see its starting to snow too, to top it all off.

Can this day get any worse?

I have to pull over

I pull into this rest area and park the car.

I know I shouldn't have run. I still don't want to go back, but I don't want to be alone either. I have to call Janet or Daniel…someone.  
Oww, must get out of the car must get out of the car.

Slowly I make it out and into the rest area. See stupid me left my cell phone sitting on the counter at Janet's. In my haste to get out quick, I left it there. So now I am stuck using a pay phone.

As I walk through the doors a group of people look at my funny as they pass me on their way out. Ignoring them I make my way towards the rest rooms were the phones are.

God why am I hurting so much?

I need to go home.

Finally, I mean how far away are the phones anyway.

As I dial Janet's number rain rips through me again and I just about fall over.

"Hello?" She answers the phone, panic in her voice.

"Janet…"

"Sam, oh my god, where are you honey?"

"Just north of Denver…Janet it hurts…"

"Sam…listen to me…Sam...you have to tell me where it hurts." Janet was pleading on the phone, Daniel was right beside her in an instant when he heard that she was talking with Sam.

"My stomach hurts…I was trying to rest, stay still…but god this hurts…."

"Do you want me to make the drive or should you call 911?"

"I think I can make it back to you."

"Are you sure Sam because I am not."

"I'll be okay Janet, I made it out here and I am not to far from home."

"I want you to go directly to the hospital Sam. Daniel and I will be waiting there for you."

"I am sorry Janet…"

"You have nothing to be sorry about Sam. Just get home alright?"

"I am sorry…" By this time I am crying and people are really starting to stare.

"Sam just make it home okay."

"Yeah…see you in a little bit."

By the time I make it back to my car, I am almost on my knees with pain. I know this isn't good, nope not good at all.

God I am so sorry.

I lean on my door before trying to sit down in the seat.

And that's where things go dark. 


	12. Life Changes Part 12

"Ma'am…Ma'am can you hear me?" The paramedic was trying to get Sam's attention.

"Mmmmm"

"Ma'am, the airlift is on its way, you need to stay with me here."

"Airlift?" Sam started to move around, but the paramedics tried to keep her still.

"Yes, Ma'am

"What happened?"

"You collapsed Ma'am." He checks me over again, "Ma'am I need to know, did you have a baby recently?"

"No…no…I didn't why?"

"Because Ma'am, you are bleeding heavily."

"I lost my baby a few days ago.. owww.. what are you doing?" I questioned one of the other paramedics working on me.

"Trying to get you stabilized Ma'am so we can get you to the hospital."

I feel delirious right now, like I am looking down from outside my body…I need to tell them to call Janet, I need her.

"Wait, you have to all Dr. Janet Fraiser…." I am struggling trying to get this out so that they can get me her.

"Ma'am…they have doctors…."

"No I want my doctor. I am a Colonel in the US Air Force, stationed out of Cheyenne Mountain…"

The paramedics look at each other like they were trying to decide something.

"I have her number here in my purse…"

"Alright Ma'am.. hold on give him the number."

I did.

"I am looking for Dr. Fraiser?"

"This is she."

"Ma'am, this is the Denver Airlift Pilot, we have a Samantha Carter, we are going to take her in."

"Oh god, what happened?"

"Some people here found her unconscious by her car Ma'am."

"Where are you taking her?"

"She is bleeding pretty heavily, Ma'am, but insisted that she wanted you."

"That's okay, I am glad you called me, where are you taking her?"

"I was going to ask you the same since she is military, how about the Academy Hospital, its about a 30min flight, if we can get her bleeding to slow, we could make it."

"I will meet you there, here is my mobile phone if something else happens."

"Ma'am we just spoke with Dr. Fraiser, we are going to attempt to make it to the Academy Hospital, and it's a 30 min flight."

"I'll be fine, I'll make it."

They bundled me up and loaded me in the helicopter.

Off we go.

30 minutes later we arrive at the hospital, with Janet running out towards me.

"What's the diagnosis?"

"She had severe bleeding when we found her, but we got it to slow down. She hasn't had any bleeding for the last 10 minutes. Her blood pressure and temperature are all normal."

"How about any pain, she said she was having painful cramping."

"A little, since she has been laying down, it has been less severe."

"Let's get her inside."

They roll me into the emergency room where Janet and Dr. Hanley had scrubbed up and were ready for me.

"Sam, how are you feeling?

"Pretty good, but I think they gave me something through my IV."

"Yeah they did, where were you having pain before Sam, can you show me?"

I show her and then promptly fall asleep. 


	13. Life Changes Part 13

God can this day get any worse?

All I want to do is go home.

But I am in the hospital, I know Janet is here and from the uniforms I think I am at the Academy Hospital.

I am hooked up to a bunch of machines my mind can't comprehend right now. I am so fuzzy.

God what happened, what did they give me?

I hit the call button.

"Sam…how are you feeling?"

I just look at her, like 'what are you nuts?'

"What did you give me?" "Sam…I…I need to talk to you for a moment." She looked at the nurses that came in with her, "Alone please."

"Okay Doctor." And they left.

Janet sat down next to me in the chair. She didn't look at me for a few minutes, whether it was not knowing what to say to me or if she actually wanted to tell me.

I know she did though, something had happened to me.

I can feel the emptiness.

"Sam…I am not sure how…"

"Janet, please…"

She reaches out and takes my hand in hers.

When she looks up at me, her eyes are filled with tears.

"Sam when you got here, you lost a lot of blood, you had…."

"Oh god."

"Yeah..Sam.."

"I had to go into surgery and you had to remove…"

She looks down at our hands, I am crying now and so is she, "I am sorry…but you can't have …"

"Children." I whisper.

"Yeah." We sit there in silence for a while, not knowing what to say to each other, but not wanting to leave each other alone either.

"Can I get you anything Sam? Do you need any more painkillers?"

"No, I am okay."

"Daniel is here…"

"I figured."

"He wants to say hello."

"I know, its okay Janet."

"Good because I think he is going to wear a path in the floor outside."

I have to laugh, that is so Daniel.

A moment later Daniel steps into the room and Janet speaks to him quietly for a moment before he comes over to sit in the chair she just vacated.

"Hey Sam."

"Hi."

"How are you feeling?"

"Okay I guess."

"I am sorry Sam."

"There is nothing to be sorry about Daniel."

"Yes there is."

"Janet and I we are here for you Sam, I want you to know that."

"I know you are, thanks Daniel." I know he's being sincere, he reaches for my hands and gives them a gentle squeeze.

"Did you talk to General Hammond?" I ask after a few moments.

"I spoke with him on our way here, I had to tell him Sam."

"Its okay Daniel, you did the right thing."

"Yeah." He says softly, "Listen, he gave me some news on Jack."

Okay I don't know how to deal with this. To be honest I hadn't thought about that in a few days.

I don't know how I could have forgotten though.

I just look away, not sure if I honestly want to know; but knowing that he is going to tell me anyway.

"General Hammond said he had contact with your dad and Teal'c today.

"Yeah?"

"He said that they found Jack."

"Is he…"

"He wasn't sure, but Teal'c and Jacob sounded like there was a chance that he was alive."

A smile crept across my face.

"I wish I could…" I try to sit up but he stops me. "Do more."

"Sam, the only thing you can do is get better and come back to us."

"That's not enough Daniel."

"Yes it is Sam. This is your mission now, get well Sam, take some time off, go away somewhere, them come back ready and willing."

I know he is right.

"I know."

"Jack is going to need you too Sam."

He is going to need me? I doubt that, but whatever you say Daniel, I am in no mood to argue with you.

We sit there in silence again for a bit and I can see Janet looking in through the window at us, waiting to come back in.

He turns and smiles at her.

"How's the patient doing?" She walks in and stands next to Daniel.

"Tired. Daniel told me about what General Hammond said."

"Yeah its good news."

"She wishes she could do more."

"All you can do right now Sam, is take care of yourself and get better. The SGC needs you, Jack is going to need you. But not if you are sick."

I know this.

"I am tired, I want to try and get some sleep."

"Okay Sam, Daniel and I will be right down the hall, if you need anything, just hit the call button."

"Okay."

And off to a restless sleep I went. 


	14. Life Changes Part 14

oooOOOOooo

It's five days later; I am getting out of here today.

I haven't been a happy patient, Janet told me that General O'Neill has rubbed off on me, I guess I acted just like him.

Well I felt fine after day 2.

Not that I was fine mind you, but I felt okay, felt like I could go home.

But after what happened before, I had to stay for safety issues.

I wanted to go home.

I got word from General Hammond that my father and Teal'c were on their way home with General O'Neill.

I am so relieved.

I want to be able to be on base when they come through the gate.

Hope General Hammond let's me.

Janet says she wants to take me to the base infirmary, I told her I wanted to see them come home.

I have to be there.

It is practically my fault that General O'Neill was taken. I should have been there, doing my job.

But I wasn't and now see what's happened?

I lost my fiancé, my baby, my CO was taken for a long period of time, and done who knows what by Ba'al.

God I hope he is okay.

There are things I have been thinking about since I have been in the hospital.

Things that I probably shouldn't be thinking, but none the less…

I know things are going to change; I have yet to be declared fit for active duty yet, and I still feel that I want to find that 'certain' happiness.

I can no longer have children, and for that I will weep forever, but I can still find happiness…right?

I have to.

I lost something that was most dear to me, something I can never get back, some would say life is not fair, and sometimes it is not, but there is a lesson to be learned from every experience, from every bad thing that happens to us.

And something did happen to me, something very bad, something no person should have to go through.

I wouldn't wish this on anyone.

But my friends are returning, my family.

I can admit that now, that's what Janet, Daniel, Teal'c, General Hammond, General O'Neill and even the rest of the people on this base are to me, is family.

What lesson was there for me in this?

I am not sure...really I don't know I would have to think about it.

Maybe it's not to settle for something that is not what you really want?

Maybe it's to be truthful with those around you?

Maybe it's to make the most out of every day, every minute…live life to the fullest all the time?

I have no idea; it could be one or all of the above, and many more.

But I want to learn, I want to be able to move on.

To find the happiness that I deserve.

I need to be with my family.

"Hey sweetie, how are you feeling?" Janet asks me as she sat next to me in the infirmary.

I look at her for a moment; I am trying to think of the right words.

My life has changed; I want to take advantage of this second chance.

"I am okay…Janet have you thought that there is a lesson that we can learn from in every act that we do or every event that happens to us?  
She looks at me for a moment almost like she is confused by the question.

"I would like to think so Sam. I mean if we can't learn from what happens to us, then what good would it do?

"Janet…I can't figure out my lesson." I want to cry at the unfairness of this all.

I want to be able to figure it out, I want the answer right there in front of me.

Everything has come relatively easy in my life, I haven't had to spend to much time thinking about things, they just came to me.

The only time I have had to 'really' think and come up with something, is when a certain General was involved, and usually in trouble.

Now, I am not sure if he is involved totally, but I think in some aspects he is involved.

If I had acted on what I was feeling all those years ago, then maybe Pete would be alive, we would have a baby of our own, Jack wouldn't have been captured and lord knows what else done to him by Ba'al.

God what have I done?

I played the perfect solider, doing exactly what was asked of me.

What happened to the real me?

I got lost somewhere.

Jack isn't perfect either; I know that, he did the same thing.

But I could have done something.

Should have done something.

Okay so there is something there, I'll admit that, but whether it's still there after all of this…I just don't know.

There are a lot of things I am starting to rethink about everything in my life.

"I know you don't know what your lesson is Sam, maybe you aren't supposed to know right now, and maybe the answer comes at a later time?"

"Yeah maybe, but how am I supposed to learn Janet, how am I supposed to change if I don't know the lesson?"

"I wish I had the answers for you Sam."

"I mean look at you and Daniel."

She looked at me for a moment before answering, "What about Daniel and I?"

"Oh come on Janet…you two flirt forever, he ascends, you go through hell, Christ we spent more time then usual at your place drinking more wine then I have drank in the whole 8years we have known each other, he comes back and its alike you two were never part, now look…"

She is smiling, "I guess we all do learn something then."

"Sam, you just need to stop thinking about it all the time, things will come to you."

"I know, I am just…"

"Inpatient, I know. Look at it this way, lesson number one, you are alive, you have a second chance."

I was just about to say something with the announcement came through that there was an incoming traveler. 


	15. Life Changes Part 15

oooOOOOooo

Oh god they are back.

My stomach is in knots, Janet told me I had to stay here in the infirmary, that if I left, she would send me to one of the isolation rooms.

Well I do not want to go there.

I want to be here.

I have to know if everyone is okay.

There are a lot of ifs.

But I have to know.

I can hear Janet shouting orders, wheels turning on the floors, all the commotion that goes along with teams that come home injured through the gate.

I am sitting here my back is bone straight, wringing my hands, my stomach is so tight, I might just throw up, all in anticipation of my friends coming into the infirmary.

I see a rush of nurses come through the door followed by a gurney, with what looks like Jack.

Oh god.

They move him to one of the beds down from me, I hear the usual one, two, three, and then they switch beds, he groans at the movement, as they move the gurney the curtains close around him.

From what I saw, jack is in bad shape, he is bruised and cut…and it is my entire fault.

My father comes through the door next and moves to go with Jack, but the nurses and Janet move him back and close the curtain.

"Dad"

"Sammy, are you okay?"

"Dad, what happened?"

"The typical escape from Ba'al, he had done things to Jack Sam, he is in bad shape."

He gives me a hug, "I am so glad you are okay."

"I am not really okay dad, I….I lost the baby, and…." I am crying now, and he pulls me into a hug, "I went into complications after losing the baby, and collapsed, Dad…I can't have children."

"Oh Sammy, I am so sorry."

"A wise man told me one time that there is a lesson to be learned in everything."

He smiles, remembering when he told me that right after mom died all those years ago.

"Did he now?"

"Yeah he did, I am just trying to find out 'what' that lesson is."

"It will come Sammy, don't push it."

"That's what Janet said too."

We are silent for a few minutes, just sitting and taking comfort in each others company when we heard Janet tell the nurses to bring him into the OR for surgery, we looked at each other, and he grabbed my hand to give me support when Daniel and Teal'c came into my little curtain made room.

"Hey Sam."

"ColonelCarter."

"Hey guys, have you heard anything yet, I mean I just heard them take him into surgery."

"No not yet."

"Sam he was really worked over, Ba'al, he did not take as much caution as he did the last time he had Jack."

"What did he do?"

"ColonelCarter, I am not sure if we should go into the details, it was quiet extensive."

I can only imagine what happened; they obviously won't tell me.

We sat there talking for a bit, I got a few more details about what actually went down.

They gad to gate to get a ship, then avoid a whole slue of jaffa warriors on another planet where they thought Ba'al was located, only to find him long gone.

I could tell this whole ordeal had taken a lot of energy and other things out of both my dad and Teal'c.

On of the nurses come in and tell them both to go get some rest, and that it was going to be a while, Jack went into surgery.

Great.

"I'll see you in a bit Sammy."

"Sure Dad." He gives me a quick kiss on my forehead and heads out of the infirmary.

"Stay well ColonelCarter."

"Bye Teal'c"

And then there were 2.

Daniel is still here with me, thank god, I think I would have gone nuts if I was here all alone.

"Jack will be okay Sam, you hve to believe that. He has pulled out of far worse before." "Not when it has been my entire fault Daniel."

"This is not your fault Sam."

"Yes it is, if I had been myself, and been able to go on that mission he would not have gotten captured, not had the stuff done to him that he did."

"No you are right, but it would have been you instead, and he would have gone after you to save you."

"I should have gone rescued him." I look down at my hands, he would have done the same for me, and I couldn't even do that for him.

God what kind of person am I?

"You couldn't have Sam, please don't blame yourself for his. There is no way you could have rescued him, especially after…"

"I would have tried Daniel."

"And where would that have gotten you? Killed? Back in the hospital worse then you already were?"

"But I would have tried Daniel, don't you see I failed my CO, I failed my…my friend…I failed my…"

"Sam you didn't fail anyone."

Didn't fail anyone?

"What?" Okay I am a little upset now, how can he say that?

"Sam, calm down…"

"How can you say I didn't fail anyone Daniel? How can you say that, I failed Pete, and look he's dead now, I failed my unborn child, and now I can't ever have any more children, and I failed Jack, and he is lying in there in surgery for god knows what, because of me. So yes Daniel, I failed."

I start to gather what little things I have with me, I can't be here, I am a failure to all my friends and family, all I want to do is go home.

"Sam listen to me." He grabs my arms for a moment, "Will you listen to me please?"

Okay Daniel, what do you have to say?

"Some things in life Sam, aren't meant to be, when we push and push for them because we want them so bad, life tends to push back."

"Are you telling me I wanted someone to love so bad I pushed Pete into death?"

"No, I am not saying that at all Sam, Pete got killed on the job, he had no control of that. That is not your fault Sam. What I am saying that is when you want something so bad, you will do everything you can do get it, even if it is the wrong thing."

"So you are saying that I wanted someone, and that even though they were the wrong person for me, I didn't care and went after them anyway. And his death was life saying no to me?"

"Something like that Sam."

"What about the baby, it didn't do anything to deserve what happened."

"You are right, and there was nothing that you could have done to change that either. So please try not to beat yourself up to much. You are alive; you have a second chance Sam."

We are quiet for a few moments, I want to ask a question, knowing he won't have the answer, but it's like I have to ask anyway. Weird huh?

"Then who is my 'someone' Daniel, because you know what I am not getting any younger here."

"Sometimes that 'someone is right under your nose."

"Like you and Janet?"

That thought brings a smile to his face.

"I love her, you know that right?"

"Yeah I do."

As if on queue, Janet moved the curtain aside and looked at his both.

He was out of surgery. 


	16. Life Changes Part 16

oooOOOOooo

Janet came in, she was still in her scrubs, but her cap and gloves were off. She came to stand next to Daniel, she looked very tired.

"You okay?" He asked her softly.

"Tired…" was all she said as he took one of her hands in his.

"But surgery went well, we had to remove his appendix, he had a few bruised and broken ribs that needed to be repaired, he also has a concussion, and regular knee problems that keeping off his feet for a little while and some PT would cure."

"But he is going to be okay right?"

"Yes Sam, he will be okay."

Well that's a weight that's lifted off my shoulders.

"How are you doing? Any pain anywhere?"

"Not much Janet, I will be okay."

She looks at me for a moment to judge whether I am lying or not. She must believe me, "Okay well if you feel any worse, I want you to tell me."

"Okay."

"And now I want you to get some rest, he will be out for a while, and you need some rest."

"But…"

"No buts Sam."

I give up.

She and Daniel leave me to my own thoughts, geeze thanks guys.

All I make my plan on how to get into the recovery room to see Jack as soon as I can.

When did I start to call him Jack anyway?

Daniel and Janet went back to his office before going their separate ways.

"Do you think she will be okay?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah with some time she will be."

"I hope so."

"Me too, listen I am going to go back to my quarters for a little bit, try to get some sleep."

"I am going to stay here, work a little, I'll be up in a bit, see how Jack and Sam are doing…"

"Okay, don't work to hard."

"Rest."

The silent meaning was there, even though they did not show anything more while on base.

I watch as the shift changes and the night crew comes on. There are less people at this hour, which is fine. Janet moved Jack a few beds down from me again and shut the curtains so he could have as much privacy as he needed.

She came and talked with me for a little bit, told me that in the morning I could go and see him.

Yeah, well I am going to go before that, Janet just isn't going to know it.

Some patient I am.

But it beats sitting home alone.

So I watch as the nurse does one last check on him then head to wherever she was going, and we were left alone.

I creep over to his bed and slip between the curtains, there is a chair vacant next to his bed where Daniel, Teal'c, and my father had sat earlier.

God he looks so pale, so…not the Jack O'Neill I know. Janet had told me he had his appendix out, and that he had a few broken ribs and bruised ones, but the sight in front of me, I was not prepared for at all.

Most of his chest is black and blue and he has black eyes and his lip is cut, his knuckles are all scabbed over. There is a large white bandage that is covering what is left of his chest.

What did I do?

How is he ever going to forgive me?

I slowly sit in the chair next to him, what am I ever going to do?

I can't lose him.

My pain is nothing right now compared to what he is going to be going through. God I did this to him.

And now I am crying again, but I don't even bother to hide the tears, there is no one around anyway to witness them.

Slowly I reach out and gently wrap my fingers around his, and I rest my head on the edge of the bed.

Maybe sleep will come.

It did because the next thing I remember is hearing muffled voices from behind me.

"She has been there all night Ma'am."

"Why didn't you wake her?"

Clearly it was Janet and one of the night nurses talking quietly.

"Colonel Carter needed her rest, and she wasn't, I heard her for a while just pacing by her bed, and she isn't bothering him."

"How is the General?"

"He has showed improvement through the night Ma'am, he should be waking up anytime now."

"That's good, Thank you."

The nurse took that as her dismissal and left.

I could hear foot steps coming closer and I opened my eyes.

"Sam? Can you hear me?"

"Yeah…" Urgh if I thought about it, sleeping like this was so not going to be good for my back.

"Stiff back?"

"Yeah…Janet, look…"

"It's okay Sam." She paused for a moment, "He is showing signs of improvement this morning."

"That's good to hear."

"Yeah, we should try to wake him in a few hours."

"Can I…"

"Yes you can Sam, I wouldn't expect anything more."

"How about some breakfast? You up to taking it slow to the commissary?"

Yes!!!!

"I am up for it Janet."

I can feel my back protesting as I stand as well as my stomach. My stitches are starting to itch and I am cramping due to the position I was in all night long.

"Sam, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just don't let me stay in that position all night again okay?"

"You should have stayed in bed like I told you too…do I have to make it an order next time?"

"No, I just…I wanted to make sure…"

"I know you did Sam, but you should have known that I would tell you if something was wrong. You need to take care of your body Sam, it won't heal if you don't."

"I promise Janet."

We had a quiet breakfast together Daniel came and joined us for a while before he went back to work. He told us that General Hammond had needed him on a mission with SG-3 and that he would be back in a few days.

Janet of course was worried, but he was taking Teal'c with him as well, so there was nothing to much to be worried over…right?

I told her he would be just fine, and that in a few days when he came back she should surprise him with dinner.

We talked for a bit longer before she was paged that General O'Neill had woken up.

My stomach is in knots again. 


	17. Life Changes Part 17

oooOOOOooo

God what am I going to say to him when I get there?

What if he doesn't want to see me?

What if he doesn't want anything to do with me, doesn't want to forgive me…

Am I strong enough to go through with this?

God I hope so.

I stand there on the outside of all the commotion that is going on in the infirmary around one General Jack O'Neill.

Janet went into full doctor mode and forgot all about me.

I want her to take care of him.

Daniel comes up next to me, and rests his hand on my shoulder, "He will be okay Sam."

"Will he, will he honestly be alright Daniel, and not just physically?"

"You two have to work through this Sam, most likely together instead of him running off to his cabin and you just planting yourself in your office."

"I don't know Daniel, I am not even sure if he wants to see me, let along talk with me or have some sort of relationship."

"Sam, you both have been through a lot of things, especially recently…we all need someone in our lives Sam, maybe all of this happened to you and him because things weren't right, and life was trying to set itself straight."

Maybe he is right, but I am just not sure of myself.

"Thanks Daniel."

We wait in silence, waiting for Janet to reappear, waiting for Jack…waiting.

God it feels like all I have been doing for most of my life is waiting.

I hate waiting.

I am not sure how long we sat there, but when Janet came out I was up and out of the chair I was sitting in and half way through the door before she stopped me.

"Sam, he's not conscious."

I stop and look at her for a moment, not conscious, how could he be not conscious?

"What?"

"He was conscious for a few minutes, then feel asleep Sam." She reaches for my hand, "He's okay."

That's all I need before I make my way into his room. God he looks so pale, so awful. But he is alive.

Slowly I make my way over to him and sit in the chair next to him, god what happened to us, how did we get to this point?

We are alone; slowly I reach for his fingers, wrapping mine around his, like it's the last thing that is holding me here, last bit of life keeping me sane.

I vowed to be here when he woke, he wouldn't be alone any longer.

I won't let it happen.

I wanted to be here and awake, but that didn't happen.

I guess from the stress over the last few days and everything that I have been through, my body said, "Okay I have had enough" and I fell asleep right long side of him.

I know I needed the sleep; I haven't really slept in a very long time.

ooOOoo

"Are you okay Janet?" Daniel asked.

"Yeah, just tired."

"He's awake, he's going to be okay, why don't I take you home, so you can get some honest rest?"

"Why don't you go get packed up and ready, my shift ends in 30minutes, by the time its over, you will be ready."

"Okay, I'll meet you back down here."

"Alright." And then he was off.

Like clockwork Daniel was back down to the infirmary.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, I let the on call doctor know I will only be at home, so if there was any emergency…"

"Everything will be fine, let's go."

Once they reached her home, the lights were out, Cassie had gone to spend the night at a friends house.

Janet was grateful just to be home, and have it quiet. As much as she loved Cassie, she didn't love the loud music and the phone ringing every second.

"Looks like you have the night to yourself."

"No, looks like we have the night to ourselves." She said as she closed the door behind her and looked at him for a moment before she moved closer and wrapped her arms around him.

"Looks like we do." He whispered before be leaned down and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

ooOOOoo

Jack was waking up slowly; he tried to move his hand, only to find a heavy weight against it.

Opening his eyes he looked over to see Sam asleep next to him.

He wondered what she was doing here at this late hour, why she was waiting with him instead of wherever else she was supposed to be.

Jack thought that she would not be here when he returned; there was part of him that didn't think he would return.

Giving in to his need to make sure she was real, he gently moved his hand out from under hers and tenderly ran his fingers through her hair, hoping to wake her, but at the same time to let her sleep.

"Hummm." She murmured as sleep left Sam, and warm sensation washed over her.

"Sam?"

"Hummm."

"Come on, wake up." Jack asked, voice barely above a whisper.

"I am awake."

He laughed, "Sam, come on open your eyes."

"Jack?" She whispered as she raised her head to look into his eyes.

"Your awake."

"It would seem that way."

"Let me call the doctor."

"Where is Janet?"

"Daniel took her home, she was exhausted."

"Daniel…"

"Shh, Sir, save your strength."

He just looked at her, like she had said something wrong.

Once she had notified the doctor, she came back to sit next to him.

Jack still watched her like a hawk, not sure what to make out by her mixed signals, mixed emotions…

What was going on here?

"Sam, listen…"

"I know, we will talk later Sir."

"Sam…"

She was cut off by the doctor walking in, and anything her was going to say was going to have to be saved till another time. 


	18. Life Changes Part 18

oooOOOOooo

"Well General, it looks like you are healing well. I will be in contact with Doctor Fraiser in the morning to let her know of your recovery."

"Thanks Doc."

Sam was still sitting next to him in the chair, although she kept her distance from him.

"Listen, when do you think I will be getting out of here?"

"General, you just went through surgery, had god knows what done to you over a period of approximately 3 weeks, you are not getting out of here for at least a week."

"But…"

"No buts General, I am pretty sure Doctor Fraiser would say the same thing if you asked her."

"And I will do just that."

"Ah, but not now General." She reached over and pulled the phone away from him, "I will notify Doctor Fraiser of your request in the morning and have her look over your records."

Sam just sat there listening to the exchange between the two, thankful that the new doctor was just as stubborn as Janet when it came to his health, and knew how to deal with his pain in the ass attitude when it came to being in the infirmary.

She was beginning to like this new doctor.

With a note to get to know her better, Sam got up and excused herself, saying that she had to get some coffee.

Leaving Jack alone with the doctor.

"I want you to get some rest General, if you can't sleep I can give you something to help."

"Thanks Doc."

"Oh and try to get Colonel Carter to rest as well."

He smiles, knowing that once her mind is set, it's hard to change it. "I will try Doc."

With that she left as well, dimming the lights on her way out.

'Great he thought; dim lights.' He thought as he tried to get comfortable.

He wondered why Sam had been acting so odd, why she had rushed out before. It was the middle of the night, she didn't need coffee. What was going on?

Janet had told him that she went through a lot while he was away, that Sam had changed and that she was worried about her.

Jack was puzzled when she told him that she thought he was the only person to help her.

How he had no idea, why he had no idea. I mean last time they really spoke all they did was fight.

Hence the reason why he went on that mission instead of her, not that he would have let her go anyway, since she was pregnant.

He was jealous of Pete, upset that he wasn't the one with Sam, but he would never do anything to put her in harms way especially with a baby on the way.

Janet told him that he had to speak with Sam to get the rest of the story, before he promptly fell back to sleep.

Maybe he did have to talk with Sam; he did want to know what was going on, what had happened to her.

She looks so sad, circles under her eyes, almost like she lost more then any one person should have.

I have to talk to her.

I have to get out of this bed, he thought to himself as he struggled to get up.

One of the nurses was walking by the room as he was attempting to get up, "General! You have to say in this bed!"

"Where did Colonel Carter go?"

"I am not sure Sir, but you need to stay here, do I have to get Doctor Feldman in here?"

"No, but could you find Colonel Carter for me?"

She looked at him oddly, before saying she would.

ooOOoo

Sam had went back to her lab, how could she talk with him, be it seemed like he didn't want to, almost like he didn't want anything to do with her.

Maybe that fight they had before he left all those weeks ago was the last straw.

God she hopped not.

With everything that she had lost over the last few weeks, she hoped that she didn't lose him as well.

The feeling was so strong before in the infirmary, the need to run, so that was what she did, knowing that he would want to know why, and want to come after her when he should still be resting in bed.

Damn.

She got up and wanted to make her way back down to the infirmary before he got any bright ideas about leaving.

She knew first hand how moving to soon could do more harm then good.

With a stop for some coffee she made her way back down to the infirmary only to be stopped by a nurse telling her that her presence was requested by General O'Neill, and to please keep him in the bed resting.

Sam smiled and nodded before entering his room.

"I hear you are giving the nurses around here a hard time."

"Na, not me."

Yeah right.

"Sure Sir, is there anything I can get for you?"

He shakes his head.

And they were silent for a while before he spoke up.

"Carter…Doc Fraiser…she told me some about what happened, but…she told me that I had to talk to you."

Sam looked at the floor for a moment; she wasn't expecting this from him.

"What did Janet tell you?"

"She told me that you lost the baby Sam." He looked at me with such sadness in his eyes that only a parent who has lost a child would understand.

"Yeah…" There wasn't much else to say.

"I never intended for you…"

"I know…"

"I am so sorry Sam."

"It's not your fault Sir…it's…"

"Don't even say it Carter"

"Yeah well I was the one pregnant…Sir…"

"Carter…"

"Sir"

"Carter…"

"Look Sir, there is a lot more to it than just that."

"Why don't you tell me, it's not like I am going anywhere anytime soon." 


End file.
